


Causality

by Weasleymama



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: F/M, Underage Drinking, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2018-04-16 23:02:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4643295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weasleymama/pseuds/Weasleymama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maya got lucky when she snuck out one night at 13 and went to a party at NYU, at 16 she wouldn’t be so lucky.</p><p>(revamped see authors notes for explanations)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * Constructive criticism
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
>   * Reader-reader interaction
> 

> 
> This author replies to all comments!
> 
> A/N: This was started before the Girl Meets Semi-Formal episode. Also first GMW fic, so all comments are welcome.
> 
> A/N 2: Okay so I've been giving this fic a lot of thought and something never sat right with me. I've thought about writing a 3rd part, but really it needed an entire revamp. So I've eliminated the sequel and combined it with the first one. Nothing new has been written but some things were altered/edited for better flow. 
> 
> The end of the previously written sequel (Anodyne) ends at Chapter 7 with a slightly different ending.
> 
> Hope it goes over well. Thanks for understanding/dealing with my neurosis :)

> It was near dawn when Maya first stumbled through the door. Katy was furious, she had been up all night waiting for her daughter to get home. “Maya Penelope Hart! Where the hell have you been!?” She shouted as she turned to face Maya. “I called the Matthews and-” She stopped short with one look at her daughter and immediately Katy lost her breath as her heart dropped.
> 
> “Mommy…” Maya’s voice was nothing more than a soft whimper. Her face was filthy and streaked with tears, her dress was torn and her hair a nest of tangles. But the worst was the blood – on her hands, legs and face streaks of dried blood marred her pale skin. Maya could barely stand, legs shaking as Katy rushed towards her and wrapped her arms around her child. 
> 
> “Maya! Oh my god!” She gasped out in a mix of shock and fear. She held Maya’s face trying to read her blue eyes and see if she was okay. “What happened?” Maya fell into her mother’s arms, crying harder now and just clinging to Katy like a small child. Katy held her daughter close as she called 911, praying it wasn’t as bad as it looked right then. 
> 
> The last place Maya Hart wanted to go that morning was to the hospital. She cried like a toddler, shaking her head and saying ‘no’ over and over as Katy urged her to let the paramedics look at her. Despite Katy holding her daughter’s hand the whole time, the examination was the most humiliating thing Maya had been through yet in her life. She was prodded, photographed and left in a gown much too big. 
> 
> She sat in the middle of the hospital bed with her knees pulled tightly against her chest when the police officer arrived to take her statement. She didn’t want to talk to anyone, not even the police woman with kind eyes, but Officer Rameriz was patient and spoke softly. She explained to Maya that the more she knew the quicker they could find the man who hurt her, she told Maya how she knew it was hard but no one she’d spoke to had ever regretted reporting a rape.
> 
> Maya finally spoke. “I can’t help. I…I don’t even know what happened.” The officer’s words only made Maya feel worse, she didn’t know how she could help put away a bad man, stop him from hurting other women…when she didn’t know who he was. 
> 
> “That’s okay, Maya. How about you just tell me what you _do_ remember, even if it doesn’t seem important.”  
>  Katy moved to sit beside Maya and wrapped her arms around her young daughter. “It’s okay baby girl, you can do this. I’m right here with you.”
> 
> Maya’s lip quivered and she looked at her knees, trying to remember. She swallowed hard and kept her eyes down as she spoke. “I lied, I didn’t go to Riley’s. I, I went to NYU for a party Josh tweeted about” She whispered with shame in her words. Katy closed her eyes tight as she rested her head against her daughter’s, not wanting to say a word and stop Maya from talking. “I thought I saw him when I walked in, but once I was inside the dorm room, I couldn’t find him. I asked around a little, and there was a guy who said Josh would be right back. He gave me a drink while I waited.” She sniffled as tears just rolled down her face. “Then, then I woke up alone in the park.” Her voice broke as she clung to her own knees, feeling stupid. “So I walked home.” 
> 
> Officer Rameriz finished writing a moment later and smiled, patting Maya’s bare foot gently. “You did really good sweetie, really good. This is my card, you can call me anytime, okay?” She placed a business card near Maya’s feet. “Is it okay if I talk to your mom for a minute?” She asked and Maya just shrugged before curling back up tighter. The uniformed officer led Katy out to the hall and closed the door behind her before she spoke again. “Mrs. Hart, she mentioned someone named Josh – ” 
> 
> “Matthews.” Katy filled in, “um, sophomore class at NYU. She’s liked him for years.” She muttered, looking back through the closed glass door at Maya who hadn’t moved an inch. 
> 
> “We’re going to do our best. We have her clothes in evidence, so that will help. If anything comes up in the investigation we will let you know. If she remembers anything else, please call me.” She handed another card to Katy and tried to give her a reassuring smile.
> 
> * * *
> 
> The First call Katy made was to Topanga. She needed time off work, she couldn’t leave Maya alone – not any time soon. But much like anyone else in the Matthews’ family, Topanga could sense something was wrong at the first sound of her friend’s voice. Katy was hesitant to speak, Maya had made it very clear she didn’t want anyone to know what happened to her. She glanced over to her daughter who remained curled on the couch under a large blanket before slipping into her bedroom. 
> 
> “Maya came home this morning, she was...attacked last night.”
> 
> “Oh my God! Katy is she okay?!”
> 
> “Bastard drugged and raped my baby.” Katy muttered as she began to cry for the first time. The two women talked for a few minutes and Topanga offered several times to come over but Katy refused. 
> 
> “Is there anything we can do for you?” Topanga asked softly. The Hart’s were like family and Topanga couldn’t even imagine how Katy was feeling just then. 
> 
> “Just the time off…and please, don’t tell Riley. Maya really doesn’t want anyone to know what happened yet. And Riley, God love her, would want to come over and help and Maya just can’t handle it right now.” 
> 
> “No, I understand…” Topanga began. “Please, call me if there is anything you need, even if you just need me to grab something for you on my way home. Honestly, anything at all you need, don’t hesitate. We love you both.” 
> 
> Topanga kept her word, and never told Riley what happened to Maya. As they all expected, when Maya didn’t go to school on Monday, Riley called. But Maya refused the call, she’d barely spoken to anyone. Katy just told her the same thing she told her every time she called that week – same thing she told all of Maya’s friends: Maya was sick and sleeping, but she’d pass on the message.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Maya regressed back to sleeping in her mother’s bed, curled into the fetal position at Katy’s side. She slept so lightly that if Katy moved too much Maya would wake with a start. Katy learned quickly that Maya wouldn’t sleep unless she was with her so she kept close to her daughter - often just sitting on the couch with Maya’s head in her lap, trying to get her baby girl to nap. Unfortunately, even lying beside her mother didn’t keep the nightmares at bay. Maya would still wake in the night in a panic, breathing hard and covered in a cold sweat. She could never tell her mother what happened in the bad dreams, only that she felt locked in the dark and everything hurt.
> 
> Maya lived in her pajamas - oversized flannel pants and a big sweat shirt – and kept a big blanket over her all the time. She moved slowly but didn’t admit to still being in pain. The only time she undressed was to shower at least twice a day with almost scalding water and scrubbing so hard her pale skin was red by the end. She didn’t want anyone to see her, she was sure with one look they’d know what happened to her. But Riley showed up every day only to be told the same thing: Maya was sick and sleeping and Katy would tell her Riley came by. 
> 
> By Wednesday Riley was feeling incredibly self-conscious and worried. She came home fighting back tears on Thursday afternoon after another visit to the Hart apartment without seeing her best friend. “I’m worried mom, all Katy keeps saying is she’s sick, and she never calls back or comes to the door. She won’t even text me.” Topanga sighed, torn between keeping the secret and telling her daughter the truth. She glanced over to Cory who shook his head and shrugged, not sure what to do either.
> 
> “Listen, honey.” Topanga began, sitting beside Riley on the couch. “You need to give her some space and let her come to you. When she feels up to it, she will.” 
> 
> Riley eyed her mother, then shot her father a quick glance. “You know something.” She accused her parents. Topanga sighed and as her lips parted to speak, Cory interrupted instead.
> 
> “Yes, we do.” He started, sitting down on Riley’s other side. “But we can’t tell you.” Riley looked appalled. “Riley, listen. It’s not our place to tell you. When Maya is ready she will talk to you, but until then you just need to give her some time, okay? Yes, something happened, she is going to be okay, but right now she’s not.” Riley pouted some, more confused than upset. Something had happened to her best friend but no one was talking and it was frustrating. She muttered a sigh and went into her room. She was sure she could badger them to get it out of them, but the way her father spoke, this was serious and that was the more worrying part of it all.
> 
> * * *
> 
> At the end of the week, Cory was the one at the Hart’s door. When Katy answered, she looked exhausted and sad and he tried to give her a sympathetic smile. “I didn’t want her to fall behind.” He told Katy when he handed over a thick folder full of not only her assignments, but notes on what they’d discussed so she wouldn’t be on her own with figuring it out. “Either of you can call me with any questions…or you know, anything.” It was an awkward exchange, but Cory tried his best. When Katy asked if Topanga told him, he nodded. “But we didn’t tell Riley.”
> 
> Katy nodded, knowing that Riley wasn’t letting things go yet, but wished for Maya’s sake she would. “Thanks Cory.” Katy said softly, taking the papers and glancing down at the folder. “How long before she absolutely has to come back?” She asked him, not sure she wanted to know the answer. 
> 
> “I can talk to the school if you want me to and explain…”
> 
> Katy looked behind her and then stepped out into the hall, closing the door behind her so Maya wouldn’t hear her.  
>  “I don’t know what to do.” Normally Katy was more likely to talk to Topanga…or even Shawn but Cory was the person at her door and she hadn’t talked to another adult since the call to Topanga. “She refuses to go talk to anyone and the cops haven’t found anything…and I haven’t left my apartment in a week. She barely sleeps, so I barely sleep. And she’s so upset…and I can’t fix this one.” She broke down, tears welling in her eyes now spilling. Much like her daughter, Katy wasn’t one to cry a lot, especially in front of others, but she couldn’t hold it in anymore. Cory hugged her to him and awkwardly patted her back until she calmed down but he had no idea what to say to her to make any of it better.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Josh was met by two officers in plain clothes outside of his Sociology class. “Joshua Matthews?” One asked and confused, he nodded. They flashed badges at him and asked if they could have a word with him.
> 
> “Um… yeah, is everything okay?” He asked, starting to worry about his family. 
> 
> “We understand there was a party in your dormitory last Friday night.” He didn’t miss the fact that they didn’t answer his question. 
> 
> “Yeah, it was the-the start of the semester bash.”
> 
> “Do you know Maya Hart?” They asked, stopping him from questioning. 
> 
> Josh’s eyes were wide and concerned. “Yeah I know her but-”
> 
> “Did you see her Friday night?”
> 
> “See her? What? No I didn’t see her.” He stopped and turned on his heel, looking at them both, a man and a woman. “Stop. I want to know what is going on.” His heart was racing. 
> 
> “We were told that she came to the party to see you.” The female officer, Officer Dreyer, softened a little at the look in his eyes. He really had no idea and looked genuinely concerned for the young girl. “Joshua, she was taken from the dorms and assaulted.” It was all the details she was going to give him. Josh’s stomach dropped and he went pale. 
> 
> “Is she okay?” He asked. “I didn’t even know she was here…fuck…I didn’t know.” He felt guilty and helpless and overwhelmed. 
> 
> “Joshua, how about you give us your number and we’ll call you if we have any more questions.” He gave it over quickly, and as soon as he felt like he could breathe again, he pulled his bag up on his shoulder and took off in the opposite direction from his class. 
> 
> Josh didn’t know where he was going until he stood in front of the Elliot, Brown & Montgomery building. He went inside and the front desk called up to Topanga’s office. He was escorted to her office and once inside he fell into one of the chairs across from her. “Josh what’s wrong?” She asked.
> 
> “The cops came showed up outside of my class asking about Maya. What happened?” He was obviously distressed and she stood, crossing the office to close the door. She sat back down, but this time in the chair beside him. 
> 
> “Okay…” She thought about it, and thought it best to tell him. “Before I tell you, I need your word that this does not leave this office, okay? Riley is not to know about this unless Maya chooses to tell her.” Josh nodded, confused as to why Riley would ever be kept in the dark about Maya but he agreed. “Maya went to the party looking for you, someone slipped her something in a drink and took her out of there.” She paused, hating to even say the words. “Josh, Maya was raped.” 
> 
> Josh went pale, then green, and quickly he was on his feet and rushing into her en suite bathroom to throw up. Topanga fixed him an ice water from her mini-bar and handed it to him when he came back out. “They said assaulted…the cops.” He muttered, sitting back down. “I…I didn’t know, I didn’t know she was there.” He said again, his guilt growing even more. He hadn’t seen her the same way she saw him, but he’d known her for her entire life and he cared about her a lot. “I…is she? I mean.”
> 
> “She’s okay physically, but…she’s pretty messed up about it. She doesn’t want anyone to know. I know you care about her Josh, I know if you knew she was there you’d have made sure she got home safe.” He sat down, defeated. “Josh.” Topanga put her hand on his. “This is not your fault.” She told him in a very serious tone, but he wasn’t so sure he believed her yet.


	2. Chapter 2

> Maya had always been considered a very strong person. She knew she was broken, she knew she had problems, but she stood tall and didn’t let anyone get her down. And it was for that reason that she over compensated now that she was feeling so weak. She became even tougher than she had been. She didn’t hesitate to get into fights, she wore heavy boots and never anything that showed any skin. She kept on a hoodie or coat no matter the weather. 
> 
> She slowly began to pull away from her friends, not on purpose, but because the more she acted out, the more she ended up spending time with other kids who did the same. More often than not you’d see her standing around a group of others dressed kind of like her, several of them smelling like smoke. She leaned against the wall in the hall way, watching, paying attention to everything going on but quiet, never having a lot to say despite the noise all around her.
> 
> She’d been in therapy for a month now, going once a week and so far the only perk was that she got to leave school early to go. By January, she’d still not told anyone what happened to her, just kept pulling away more and more. But her friends hadn’t given up on her completely. While they didn’t all spend time together all the time like they used to, everyone seemed to still keep an eye on Maya. The loyalties of that group never faded.
> 
> The sound of Maya’s voice grabbed Lucas’s attention - not just because he missed it but because it sounded so different. “Hey! Watch it! Don’t touch me!” He turned quickly and took long, quick strides towards the sound of her voice. He caught her as she shoved a large and angry looking guy into the lockers. The bang was loud and the guy grunted, clearly not wanting to admit it hurt considering how small Maya was.
> 
> “Bitch.” The guy growled and pushed himself off the lockers and with narrow eyes took a step towards Maya – who showed no fear. 
> 
> Before he could act on Maya, Lucas stepped between them and shoved the guy back himself. “Back off!” Lucas snapped, his eyes hard as steel as he stared the guy down. 
> 
> “You back off!” Maya snapped, shoving Lucas to the side as she moved past them. “I can take care of myself.” Lucas blinked after her a few times before he started to follow her. 
> 
> “Maya, stop.” He called out, and she did because she knew he wasn’t going to give up and didn’t want him following her around. She turned, looking at him with distain and a raised brow, asking what he wanted without saying a word. “Maya…what is going on with you? That guy was ready to hit you, girl or not.” He was genuinely concerned that she’d have gotten really hurt if he hadn’t been there.
> 
> “I told you, I can take care of myself.” She replied with a sharp tone.
> 
> “I have no doubt about that, but why are you picking a fight with someone like that?”
> 
> “I didn’t pick a fight, he pushed me first!” She got defensive this time and he sighed in a half-defeated way.
> 
> “Maya….what happened to you?” He asked her simply, he didn’t feel the need to explain himself, she’d changed and even she had to see that. From how she spoke to people to how she dressed, even how she walked, it was all different. He cocked his head to the side, his blue eyes gentle as they looked into hers. 
> 
> “I’m fine.” Was all she could say and even those words were hard to get out. Why did he have to look at her like that?
> 
> “You’re not fine, you haven’t been fine in weeks.” He told her and she looked away from him, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. But before she could add a sarcastic retort he continued. Speaking softer as he took a step closer to her when the bell rang and people began to rush to class. “I see you, Maya, I’ve always seen you…and.”
> 
> He was interrupted with the voice of a teacher down the hall to everyone. “Get to class!”
> 
> Lucas chose to ignore the command and turned his eyes back on Maya. “You’re not fine.” She looked up at him then, staring at him as if waiting for him to finish so she could leave.
> 
> * * *
> 
> The more Maya tried to avoid Lucas, the more often she saw him. The way he’d told her he saw her made her self-conscious and the only way she knew how to deal with that was to attack it. She caught him walking behind her on her way home, a good fifteen steps behind her but she could feel his eyes on her. She stopped in her tracks and turned, face to face with him in only a second. “Listen here, Rooster, I’m not your damsel in distress.” She pointed a finger at him. He was actually slightly impressed at her reference this time, John Wayne character and he couldn’t help but show it in his smile at her. “Shut up, I’m serious, what are you doing?”
> 
> “I’m walking you home.” He told her and she rolled her eyes. 
> 
> “I didn’t ask you to walk me home.”
> 
> “And you probably never will, why should that stop me?” His grin was infuriating. 
> 
> “Don’t you have something better to do?” 
> 
> “Nope.” He replied with ease and again, Maya rolled her eyes and shook her head before walking away from him – only to have him begin to follow again a few steps behind her.
> 
> Lucas began doing this often, waiting until she was inside her building before he left. Something wasn’t right with Maya; that much he knew. He also knew she wasn’t going to openly ask him for anything, so he decided to do anything he could for her on his own. Maya ignored him for the most part for the first week, but after a week she was getting anxious and frustrated. She tried to lose him, she ducked into a store and then took a different route home. She was happy as she looked back and there was no sign of him. But she wasn’t completely free – as she came around the building, there was Lucas sitting on her stoop waiting for her. 
> 
> “Okay, enough, Lucas.” He looked up at her with a smile. “You’re acting like a stalker and it’s weird.” She tried to justify why she wanted him gone, but it was just another excuse. The truth was that he was too close, he was too close physically and mentally. He was taking away her alone time and was going to see her break one day and it was a risk she didn’t like.
> 
> “I’m acting like a friend who wants to make sure you get home okay.” He corrected, still sitting on the steps. She glared down at him, silently calling his bluff. “I miss you, okay? I miss you calling me Ranger Rick, I miss your laugh…hell just your smile. I haven’t seen you smile in forever. How can I think you’re fine when you never smile, when you hang out with people like Brett Majors? You used to avoid jerks like that and now you surround yourself with them.”
> 
> Maya couldn’t meet his eyes as he spoke, not wanting to hear this, not wanting to show him he was getting to her. “I’m fi-” 
> 
> “Fine?” He butted in. “Yeah, you look it.” He added in a slight sardonic tone. After a second he began again in a softer voice. “Do you still consider me your friend?” He asked her, honestly wondering. “Seriously, do you want me to just get out of your life is that what all this is, trying to get rid of all your old friends so you can start smoking and skipping school with the rest of them?”
> 
> “No…” She muttered. “You are my friend.” She sighed, defeated, and sat down on the step next to him. “I know I’m messed up. I’ve been messed up my whole life. It’s not something you or anyone else can help me with, I have to do it myself.” She looked down at her knees when she spoke. “You can’t protect me all the time.” 
> 
> “I could if you let me.” He muttered, looking away from her as well.
> 
> “Why would you want to?” She asked half laughing. “God, you really are so much like Riley.” It was something she’d always known, and part of what drew her to him so much. “She always wants to fix everyone and everything all the time, and so do you, you want to save me? Want to shield me from the bad, bad world?” her laugh turned bitter. “Too late.” And she stood, ready to go inside, he was getting way too close now.
> 
> “Too late?” He asked looking over to her quickly. “What does that mean?”
> 
> “Go home, Lucas.” She muttered, reaching for her keys. 
> 
> “No. Tell me what you mean by that.” He was on his feet now, confused and feeling protective, and even more worried about her.
> 
> “Nothing, it means nothing.” She told him, opening the door to the building. 
> 
> “Bullshit.” He moved closer to her so she didn’t lock him out which she tried to do when she got into the building and pushed the door behind her, but it only hit him as he walked in. “What happened?” He was ready to fight someone, whoever hurt her, whoever he was ‘too late’ to shield her from.
> 
> “Nothing!” She yelled as she stomped up the stairs quickly. He followed, though not too close. With how hard she shoved he’d go down the stairs if she turned on him now. 
> 
> “Please stop” He pleaded but she was just quick enough to close the door in his face. She leaned against the door and slid down it, pulling her knees to her chest and putting her forehead against them, hiding her face. She took a few deep breaths trying to calm down. She’d said two words too many.
> 
> * * *
> 
> “Maya!” Katy called out when she came inside the apartment. Maya poked her head out of her room with an inquisitive look on her face. “Why is Lucas doing his homework out in the hall?” She asked. She’d come up the stairs to find Lucas sitting on the floor with a book open in front of him working on math problems. She’d offered for him to come in, but he shook his head and told her simply that Maya didn’t want him to come in and he would stay outside until she invited him, but of course thanked her all the same.
> 
> “He’s still out there?!” Maya rolled her eyes and went back in her room where Katy met her after getting some tea for them both. 
> 
> Katy handed Maya a mug as she sat beside her. “So what happened?”
> 
> “He’s been following me home because I won’t let him walk with me. We kind of got into it and I came inside.” But Katy knew her daughter and just sat quietly waiting sipping her tea until Maya spoke again. “I started venting a little about how he couldn’t protect me all the time and he said he could and I just kind of snapped and um, I told him it was too late.” 
> 
> Katy sighed a little and reached over, putting an arm around Maya. “Oh baby…” Maya and Katy had grown much closer since the rape. Maya leaned on her mother a lot and Katy did all she could for her daughter. They talked more now, Maya stopped shutting her out so much and Katy stopped letting her. They went to her therapy sessions together anytime Maya wanted her there. While Maya had gone back to her own bed for the most part, when she had a bad dream she would crawl back in bed with her mother like a small child. 
> 
> Katy knew Maya hadn’t told anyone about the attack, and it was mentioned in therapy that she may handle things better with friends, but Maya was very set on telling no one. She didn’t want them to look at her and see a victim, she didn’t want them to see someone even more damaged, she didn’t want them to look at her and ever see pity in their eyes. “He doesn’t know what happened, sweetie, but you can’t hide and expect no one to notice the change.” Katy told her softly. “You wear different clothes and never hang out with them anymore, I’m sure he’s just worried about you. You know he’s always liked you.” Maya scrunched her face, looking at Katy like she was crazy. Of course there had been speculation from classmates in the past, but nothing had ever come from it so Maya never believed it was true. “It’s not bad that he cares, Maya. I’m not saying tell him, I’m just saying…don’t shut him out. Don’t shut any of them out, they love you. Riley calls all the time, she asks after you at the bakery.”
> 
> “Mom…if I spend time with them, if I go back…I know I’ll end up telling or letting something out, or just acting like I’m crazy and flipping out over something stupid, and….I don’t want any of that. Especially Riley. God… she just… she’s so pure and sweet, and I’m… I’m not. And it used to work for us, but now…. It’s not the same, I don’t want her to look at me and see that, I don’t want her to have to face that, she’s so naïve sometimes, and it’s not bad. I love her, I do, and it’s who she is. And I like that she’s so sweet and kind, I protect that about her. But…but, it’s like I…I feel like I’m a stain and she’s a white dress.” Maya’s voice cracked as she welled up talking about Riley, who she really did miss very much. Katy immediately moved the tea and hugged her daughter close.
> 
> “Maya, you are not a stain, you’re just hurting and feeling things that are normal for you to be feeling. But you don’t know that they’d look at you differently.” She stroked Maya’s hair a bit. “You are worried about things that may never happen.” Maya nodded, she knew what her mother said was right, but she couldn’t help the fears she felt.
> 
> Maya sat for a long time in silence, letting everything she talked to her mother about wash over her and when she did get up, she walked out into the hall where Lucas was still sitting on the floor. She had mocking words for him in her head, but she kept them inside for now. She sat cross legged beside him and watched as he closed his textbook and turned to her, waiting for her to speak first. 
> 
> “Okay…so I’m going to make you a deal.” She began, not meeting his eyes just yet. “I’m going to let you walk me home if you promise to stop asking me what’s wrong or what happened or anything else about me being different.” She looked up at him now, waiting for him to either agree or not. 
> 
> Lucas eyed her for a second as she finally met his eyes. It was so clear she was not okay, but he knew he wasn’t going to get anything out of her by asking and trying to push – that’s how he ended up in the hall for an hour. “Deal, but walk you home means walk together not ten steps apart.” He told her, grinning and holding out his hand to shake on it. 
> 
> “Fine…” She rolled her eyes and he thought he saw a hint of a smile for just a second as she begrudgingly shook his hand. “Now go home, my mom already thinks you’re going to try to camp out here.”
> 
> * * *
> 
> After school the next day, Lucas stood waiting at the end of the steps by the front entrance of the school. He’d wave to passing friends but didn’t start home. Finally he saw Maya, trailing behind one of the last groups to come out the door. “Hey.” He called, smiling. “Thought you might be ditching me.” He only half teased. 
> 
> “It crossed my mind.” She told him with a monotone voice, but her eyes showed a little more interest. He just smiled as they started walking. Normally, Maya would already have her headphones in and be closing out all the noise on the street. But it didn’t feel right to put them in now. But Lucas had been paying attention as he;d followed behind her for a week, he stopped walking and pulled a cord out of his pocket. 
> 
> “Double headphone jack.” So they could both listen together and not just be near one another with headphones on. The curl of her lips was slight and she quickly sucked the bottom one between her teeth to rid herself of the smile - but he’d caught it and smiled a little wider himself. Neither of them noticed Riley across the street glancing over at them before she went down the subway entrance, showing all her feelings on her face as the confusion and hurt hit her. If Maya was going to come back to spend time with any of them again why wasn’t it her?
> 
> “You probably won’t like what I’m listening to.” Maya mumbled to him as she pulled out her phone with the earbuds wrapped around it. “No one with a twang is singing about their wife leaving them and taking the trailer.” 
> 
> He laughed and shook his head knowing he wasn’t normal, normal people didn’t miss being mocked like he missed being teased by her. They were connected by the cords as they walked together forcing others to move around them on the streets rather than slip between them. The only theme Lucas could find to her music was that it was loud and angry. They separated when they got to the front of her building, and he didn’t want to part from her yet, they hadn’t talked at all. But he had made a deal with her and he would honor it. He took his headphones back and smiled. “Have a good night, ma’am.” He said with the most Texan accent he had, tipping his invisible hat to her. 
> 
> “Yeah, yeah, see you tomorrow, Sundance.” She told him and headed inside the building. He didn’t follow her this time, but he did watch through the door until he couldn’t see her anymore before he walked to the subway. 


	3. Chapter 3

> Maya had been walking home with Lucas for two weeks now and he could see her starting to come back to him. Her mother was right, he’d liked her from the moment he first saw her. She was beautiful, but getting to know her had shown him just how truly amazing she was. However, she was the hardest person to tell that to, she had trouble believing people when they complimented her. 
> 
> She walked home quietly that day, she didn’t want to listen to music and she didn’t want to talk. It had gotten colder, but she still wouldn’t take the subway and refused to let Lucas get them a cab. When they got to her building, she sat on the front steps and leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her legs. “Maya?” Lucas began, head cocked to the side a bit. “What’s up?” He asked, trying not to seem pushy, but she was sitting there, not rushing inside so he couldn’t help but grow hopeful that she was going to talk to him. 
> 
> It took her a bit to speak. “You still think you can protect me if I let you?” She asked, looking up at him but not letting go of her legs.
> 
> “Yeah, I do.” He told her with a nod. After another moment of silence he moved to sit beside her on the cold stone steps. 
> 
> “I have to go somewhere tomorrow and um…I’d really appreciate if you could come with me.” His brow furrowed just a little, she’d never asked him to do anything for her, and it was really obvious that this was something that was a really big deal. And the fact that she’d brought up protecting her made him believe that wherever she had to go scared her. 
> 
> “Yeah, I’ll go with you.” He told her with a nod. When she told him he’d have to miss school, he just shrugged. “I’ll go with you.” He assured her, meeting her eyes. 
> 
> “Okay, meet me here tomorrow morning?” She asked, not telling him where they were going because she knew it would require more explaining than she cared to do. She stood and started up the steps, but she stopped at the door and turned to find him watching her go. “Thanks…” She muttered before disappearing inside the door.
> 
> * * *
> 
> “So, um… where are we going?” he asked, feeling awkward all of a sudden now that he was going somewhere with her and her mom.
> 
> “Court.” She answered simply, looking down the road away from him. “Something happened to me and I have to testify today.”
> 
> “What?” He asked, shocked but she didn’t say anything else and in just moments, Katy was running down the steps and the cab was pulling up. When they arrived at the court house, he slid out and Maya followed behind. She looked up at the building with big eyes and he could see the fear in her. All he could think of was that she’d gotten in some trouble with all her fighting that she was now having to deal with. The reality of the situation had never occurred to him. 
> 
> They walked up the steps side by side, their stride of walking together was mastered by this point despite the height differences. Maya’s hand reached for Lucas’s as it swung at his side. He looked over at her quickly as she slid her fingers between his and held onto him tightly. Her face was so pale. He definitely wasn’t going to question this one. Instead he just curled his fingers around her hand and walked a little closer to her side.
> 
> “Maya?” He whispered, but she just shook her head and kept walking. Topanga was waiting in the court room for them, front row of the prosecution side and slid over to let them in the row. Katy sat first, then Maya and Lucas ended the row – Maya didn’t let go of his hand. While the court room filled, Topanga reached over and squeezed Maya’s hand, telling her everything was going to be fine and then spoke softly with Katy. 
> 
> When the defendant walked in Maya’s stared at him, squeezing Lucas’s hand so tight her knuckles were white. He wanted to know what happened to her, but with just one look at her he couldn’t even speak. He had never seen Maya like this.
> 
> Lucas froze when the charges were named: Rape, Assault and Drug Possession. He looked to Maya with wide eyes and it hit him hard like a boulder slamming into his chest. He could feel the rage building in him and he gripped the edge of the wooden bench. He could hardly listen to the legal speak, especially when he looked at Maya. Her eyes were stuck on the man who attacked her and she was tearing up some. She shifted a little, holding both his and her mother’s hands. 
> 
> “I…I don’t remember everything.” Maya said as she sat on the stand. She’d been through prep, she knew what she’d have to do and to only look at who was asking her questions and only speak when spoken to. “I remember he gave me a drink.”
> 
> “Let the record show Miss Hart is referring to the defendant, Colin Brown.” The prosecutor spoke.
> 
> “Yeah, him. He gave me a drink in a red plastic cup, something sweet. And he was in a Mets shirt.” Maya continued. “I remember walking, but I don’t know where.” She swallowed hard, her eyes welled up. “I remember being knocked down and smelling dirt. Um, I remember pain, just a lot of pain and feeling heavy, really heavy like I couldn’t lift myself up.” The prosecutor held out a box of tissues to Maya and asked if she was okay to go on, swiping the tissue over her face, Maya nodded. “I woke up in the park and everything hurt, my whole body hurt and my dress was ripped. I walked home and my mom took me to hospital.” 
> 
> Lucas listened, feeling like he was on an island alone as Katy sat with Topanga’s arm around her while Maya talked. Until Katy reached over, taking the hand that Maya was holding and giving him a weird smile. She was glad he was there, he’d been such a good friend to Maya, a good influence on her like Riley had always been. Lucas was more upset than he’d ever been in his life. It wasn’t something simple or small, it was the worst thing he thought could ever happen to her and he was furious. Furious and sad, he wanted to make her better and he wanted to kill the stone faced defendant with his bare hands. 
> 
> Colin plead not guilty and claimed it was all consensual, that she was drinking all night and all over him. Maya clenched against Lucas’s hand at the sound of the lies and she was furious and crying all at once. She couldn’t believe he’d even try to lie at this point. And he shouldn’t have bothered as the he prosecutor showed records from the hospital showing Maya had tested positive for rohypnol and that the DNA matched Colin. In the end, despite his expensive attorney, he was found guilty and taken away in cuffs.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Maya stood in front of the court house, hugging her mother tightly and breathing deep. “It’s over baby.” Katy whispered into Maya’s hair. “It’s all over.” And yes, it was over…she didn’t have to worry about the guy whose face she barely remembered. He was going away and she should feel like it was over inside…but she didn’t. 
> 
> “Mom…can I walk home?” She asked, pulling back a little. 
> 
> “Maya, its 20 blocks.” Katy replied with a concerned look on her face, it was really far to walk in the winter. 
> 
> “I’ll walk with her, Ms. Hart, if it gets too cold I’ll get us a cab.” Lucas piped up, trying to be as polite as possible. Katy looked at Maya who could fake smiles as well as anyone in the world but Katy didn’t buy it this time. 
> 
> “Maya?” She began, eying her daughter. 
> 
> “Please.” Maya said softly, eyes pleading. Katy finally gave in and Lucas and Maya started off on foot while she and Topanga shared a cab. Seeing Maya take Lucas’s hand was a small consolation to Katy as the cab pulled away. At least Maya was with someone who would take care of her and keep her safe. She wanted to be with her daughter and make sure she was okay – but Katy knew she couldn’t decide how Maya handled things. 
> 
> Lucas stayed silent as they walked hand in hand down the block away from the court house. He was dying to talk but until Maya said “Go ahead.” He held it in and let her control this. 
> 
> “Why didn’t you tell me? Tell anyone?” He asked and she was quiet for a while, really trying to find the words to explain it properly.
> 
> “I…didn’t want to be looked at differently. I didn’t want to explain or talk about it. I didn’t want to be seen as…the rape victim.” He started to object but she quickly spoke over him. “Lucas, you know I’m right! That’s all people would see when they look at me.”
> 
> “It’s not what I see right now.” He told her, watching her more than where they were going and stopped walking to turn to her completely. “I see someone incredibly strong who can do anything.” She looked up at him for a long time just silent. “You’re amazing, Maya, I’m really sorry that it happened to you, and I’m sorry you didn’t tell me sooner so I could have been there for you.”
> 
> She nodded. “I know…thanks.” She said softly. As they started walking again, she continued talking. “I still don’t want Riley to know. Trust me, I know how angry she’s going to be that no one told her, but…” She paused, brow furrowed as she tried to find the words. “Riley is so sweet and innocent, she’s got all these dreams and ideals for life, she is so…romantic and idealistic, that knowing this happens to people she loves, knowing a first time isn’t always with someone you love and plan to marry….I can’t do that to her. I can’t be that selfish to tell her to comfort me when I know it would just destroy her. I can handle that, but… she would never forget, she’d never feel safe and she’d be heart broken.”
> 
> Lucas actually understood what she meant when it came to Riley, and the truth was it made him a little sad as well as honored to know her. “I won’t tell her.” He said softly, knowing Maya was right about at least some of it, Riley was innocent and a bit naïve sometimes. He didn’t want to take that innocence away from her any more than Maya did. “I just hate that you haven’t had any friends to be there for you. I wouldn’t have looked at you different if you’d told me.”
> 
> “ _ **I**_ look at me differently.” She admitted, looking away from him and towards the traffic. He waited, watching her some as they walked, and keeping a hold on her hand. “I don’t even remember most of it but…I feel like I’m…like I’m just filthy. I know it’s not my fault and I’ve been seeing a shrink, I am trying, I just… I can’t help it you know?”
> 
> “I want to fucking kill this guy.” Lucas mumbled under his breath, but Maya caught it, glancing up at him she gave his hand a squeeze. “I’m sorry, I just hate him, I hate all of this, I hate that you feel like this, that you ever had that happen to you. I hate that you…fuck you walked home and no one helped you on the way. I wish I could do more for you, make this have never happened or something…I mean I know I can’t. But…”
> 
> “I know.” She told him softly when his words couldn’t come. She understood what he wanted to say, and how hard it was to find words with stuff like this, she had trouble herself.
> 
> * * *
> 
> “I know you walk home together every day, you never talk to me anymore, and I saw you holding his hand. So is that what it is, Maya? You like Lucas and so you don’t want to be my friend anymore?!” Riley burst a few days later at school. “You won’t talk to me, but you talk to him, and you held his hand!” Even at sixteen, holding hands was an important thing to Riley and Maya knew anything she said was going to hurt Riley. Maya’s eyes were wide as Riley cornered her in the hall as soon. Lucas was on his way around the corner with Charlie and stopped short. “It was years ago, you can do whatever you want with him, I want you to be happy, and if Lucas makes you happy then be with him! You don’t have to stop being my friend just because you like him, I wouldn’t stop you!” Riley tended to talk fast when she was upset, babbling everything out frantically. 
> 
> Maya had been able to miss Riley less by staying away from her, but now, this little Riley-outburst just made Maya miss her even more. Maya smiled, even though Riley was screaming at her, Maya smiled and she reached out, hugging her tightly against her. “I will always want to be your friend.” She said softly into the dark brown hair. She pulled back. “I can’t tell you right now, but you trust me right?”
> 
> It was such an unfair question to ask your best friend since childhood. Riley couldn’t say no even if she was losing faith in everything they had. “Of course I do.” She said, much softer now.
> 
> “Then trust me. I promise I will tell you when I can.” She swallowed hard. “But it’s not about Lucas, that’s….I don’t know what that is.” Riley listened, brow furrowed and bit at her bottom lip, thinking it all over. 
> 
> “Maya…” Maya looked at her, eyes wide as Riley spoke normally, even meekly this time. “Did something bad happen to you?” Riley knew what her parents had said and not said, and how Maya didn’t talk to her about things that upset her – like when she knew before everyone that Lucas and her wouldn’t work out. Maya took in a deep breath, looking into Riley’s eyes for a moment before she spoke. 
> 
> “Yeah, Riles.” She said it softly, not needing the whole school to hear. Lucas gave Maya a little smile and then motioned to Charlie to come with him to class, not to go talk to the girls right now.
> 
> “Well, are you okay?” She asked, speaking just as softly now as they stood close together. 
> 
> “Um, yeah…I’m okay, I’m working on it, but I’m okay.” Riley stayed quiet for a second, thinking about all the time they had together versus the few weeks they’d been apart…and only apart for some real reason. And she hugged Maya tightly.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Maya went back to her group of friends, spending more time with them all at school, but after school Lucas still walked her home and she still didn’t go to the Matthews. She’d been talking to her therapist a lot since the encounter with Riley about why she shouldn’t tell her. “Maya, I do understand that some people can’t handle what you’ve been through. But are you sure you’re protecting Riley is the best decision? Or that it’s even _her_ you’re protecting?” Dr. Moore asked, with a thin eyebrow raised. 
> 
> Her shrink was young and had a bohemian sense of style, her hair in a curly fro with scarves in it most days or headbands of some sort. She was someone Maya had grown to trust greatly in the past few months. “Maya, I don’t know Riley, only what you tell me about her. But from all you’ve said, I think you are scared to tell her because of how she’ll look at _you_ , not how she will look at the world. She’s a very bright girl, I think she knows these things happen out there.”
> 
> Maya knew she was right, but just shrugged a little. “Maya,” She continued softly, smiling. “I care about you a lot, but I’m your doctor, I really think you should have your friend there for you too.” And before Maya could say it… “And not Lucas, it’s not the same, and I think you already know that.” Maya was quiet for a long time, looking out the window at the building across the alley and the reflections of the sun on the window. 
> 
> “Could I…could I bring her here with me?” Maya asked, looking back to Dr. Moore with hopeful eyes, not sure she’d really go through with telling Riley if she was on her own. 
> 
> “Of course you can.” Dr. Moore told her, nodding.
> 
> Maya had told Riley why she left early every Wednesday, and she also asked her if she would come to her next appointment with her. After a very short conversation with Cory, he was signing out his daughter and sending them both on their way the following Wednesday. It wasn’t a terribly long walk, and when they arrived and were sitting in the waiting room, Riley turned to Maya. “So..?” She felt awkward, not knowing what to say or how to act in a place like this. She’d never been to a therapist before. 
> 
> It didn’t take long for Dr. Moore to open the door and invited the girls inside. They sat beside one another on the couch and seeing that neither of them were able to speak first, Dr. Moore began. “Riley, Maya asked to bring you here today so she could talk to you about something that happened a few months ago. Maya, would you like to talk to Riley about that?”
> 
> “Maya you don’t have to-” Riley began, not wanting to make her closest friend feel forced to speak.
> 
> “No, Riles, I want to tell you.” Maya replied, swallowing hard and taking a deep breath. “Riley, this is really hard for me to talk about to anyone, but, especially with you. I don’t want you to look at me differently, I don’t want you to only see what I tell you okay? So can you just…promise me nothing will change?” 
> 
> Riley took her hand and Maya looked at her finally. “Nothing will ever change, you’re my best friend.”
> 
> Maya glanced at her doctor who gave her a nod and a smile and then she swallowed hard again. “I was raped.” She said it fast and looking at her knees. She knew if she didn’t just throw it out there she was going to over-think it and never say it. Riley gasped an ‘oh my god’ and her arms were around Maya before Maya could even look up from her lap. She held Maya tight and while she didn’t mean to do it, she couldn’t help the tears welling in her eyes for her best friend. Maya held her back, squeezing Riley’s middle and closing her eyes just holding her. She hadn’t realized how much she needed this, how much easier it may have been to handle if she’d had this the whole time. But she’d let her own fear take over and wasn’t strong enough to fight it.
> 
> “I’m so sorry, Maya. Are you okay?” She asked, as she pulled back some, wiping off her fallen tears quickly. She didn’t ask what happened, or who or where, she just wanted to know that Maya was okay, it was all that mattered to Riley. She looked Maya in the eyes and searched her face to be sure she was okay, to find anything in her that she could do to make this better for her friend. 
> 
> Maya nodded, smiling just a little. “I am…now.” She told her, sitting close with their arms still around one another. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” She muttered, her head on Riley’s shoulder.
> 
> “You don’t need to be sorry for anything, all that matters is that you’re okay. Can I do anything for you to make it better?” Maya and Riley sat talking to one another for the rest of Maya’s therapy session while Dr. Moore moved to her desk to work on some notes but watched on in case she was needed. She knew the girls needed some time together, time to reconnect after the months with a wall between them. It was one of the most important sessions that didn’t require her to do a thing. 
> 
> Maya told Riley when it happened, and without the gory details what had happened. She talked about going to the hospital and the police. It was one of the first time in Riley’s life that she wasn’t mad that her family had kept something from her. She understood as Maya talked that this really was only for Maya to tell her, and why Maya had kept from doing so for so long. When the girls left, they walked arm in arm and close by one another. Maya felt so much lighter than she had in a while. She had refused to believe that having Riley know, having Riley with her would affect her so much, but it really had. Maya talked about going to court – which got them further into talk about Lucas since he’d gone with her. 
> 
> “So, he just followed you?” Riley asked with a laugh. It felt good to laugh together again.
> 
> “He did, I almost punched him in the face.” Maya told her. “He sat outside our apartment till my mom got home.”
> 
> “He loves you.” Riley said, in pure Riley fashion and Maya just shook her head and rolled her eyes. 
> 
> “We all love each other Riles, we’re all friends.” Riley just grinned at her, Maya wasn’t going to admit it but Riley was sure something was going to happen.


	4. Chapter 4

> ****ONE YEAR LATER****  
> 
> 
> Lucas hadn’t ever really wanted to go back to the person he’d been in his youth before he moved to New York. He had a terrible temper and fought first and talked after. He didn’t fight for nothing, he defended those he loved and to him this hadn’t ever been wrong – until it got him expelled that was. He tried to change, tried to better himself. But knowing what happened to Maya caused it to creep back up on him again. The rage he’d felt in that court room, the overwhelming need to protect her, protect everyone, was so strong he couldn’t hold back. The only difference was he’d grown smarter and knew better than to do it in school.
> 
> He was protective of all his friends, but Maya was different, as if protecting her more now would make up for not being able to protect her then. Anyone who messed with Maya would deal with Lucas. Maya had always had a strange attraction to his tougher and slightly scarier side. The side of him that frightened Riley actually turned Maya on. She liked the way the muscles in his arms flexed to show the veins when he clenched a fist, she liked the way his eyes got hard as steel when he was staring someone down, she liked the way he seemed stronger than anyone she knew – both physically and emotionally. But it was always her that he turned to when he needed someone to help him. They had a bond that had grown over the past year to something neither of them really expected.
> 
> Walking hand in hand Maya glanced up at Lucas. “You never answered me.” She reminded him – a question she posed in the hall earlier had been cut short by the bell and both turned different directions to go to class.
> 
> “Hmm?”
> 
> “Did you pick a school yet?” She asked. She’d been trying to get him to talk about college for a week now, and he wasn’t getting out of it this time.
> 
> “Nope.”
> 
> She stopped then, shifting to stand in front of him and stop him in his tracks. “Nope?” She asked, eyeing him. “C’mon Huckleberry, I know you’ve thought about it, everyone’s thinking about it.”
> 
> “Are you?” He asked watching her eyes which seemed to shift slightly for only a moment. Maya still had reservations about school – more so about dorms. She pushed herself and toured a few universities with everyone else, but she’d not slept a wink in the dorms where they were boarded with students for the visits. He almost wanted to apologize for asking her in return, but he knew better. She had never wanted to be seen as a victim – even when she was one.
> 
> “Yeah, got into Pratt, but can’t afford it so I’m going to probably go to BMCC for a couple years and get the basics done.”
> 
> The entire group had been facing the reality that despite being in school together for years…soon they wouldn’t be any longer. Farkle had gotten into several Ivy League schools and after much debating had decided on Dartmouth. Riley – while still as unique as she’d always been, was also incredibly smart. She’d gotten into several amazing schools as well and had chosen Columbia to live at home and be close to her loved ones. For Riley school was important, but family always ranked higher. 
> 
> Zay was heading to the Army for a few years first and when he was done they would pay for his education. His decision had concerned them all, but he expressed it was the best choice for him. Maya’s concern was money and she’d decided as soon as college was an option she didn’t want to go into it all in debt so she wanted to stay away from loans if she could. She’d applied to art schools and tried for scholarships…but in the end while she got into the school and qualified for some financial aid, she still couldn’t afford the specialty school without a loan. 
> 
> Lucas was the only one not talking. They all knew he was up for baseball scholarships, and that his going back to Texas was a possibility. “I got into a few places, got some scholarship offers but…” He shrugged. “I can’t decide.” He admitted. And it was true, he was having a lot of trouble deciding because he couldn’t figure out what he wanted. That was how the two of them ended up sitting on the family room floor with brochures and acceptance letters spread out around them.
> 
> “So which ones do you just not like at all, no chance in hell you’d go?” She asked him. He reached forward, pulling three of the fifty possible out of the stack. “Three? C’mon Huckleberry you’ve got to be more selective. Do you want to spend half the year in snow? Then get rid of Minnesota. Washington is all rain all the time, you’d be miserable.” Maya ended up pulling out a few more for him, tossing them to the side away from the possible schools. 
> 
> It hit her as she looked down on everything just how great he was over all. This wasn’t just about baseball there were also some really good schools academically. He’d really applied himself more than she ever had. Shawn had pushed her, told her how he always wished he’d done better and she’d tried but she was surrounded by far more brilliant people than herself. She had street smarts, they knew books – but she never stopped trying. Lucas it seemed had tried his hardest and it paid off. She saw the number of brochures to top schools, to schools in Texas and New York.
> 
> “So,” Mrs. Friar began, looking towards her son and his best friend on the floor sifting through piles of papers. “Have you gotten him to make a decision yet?” She asked with a smile, reaching to pat Maya’s shoulder. Maya leaned in, giving a half hug to the southern woman’s leg and smiled. She was incredibly comfortable in the Friar’s brownstone, spending a lot of time there in the last year.
> 
> “I got him down to fifteen now.” She replied with a grin.
> 
> When Lucas woke, lifting his head off the floor with a slight groan, the brochure for Vanderbilt University was stuck to the side of his face. He and Maya had fallen asleep looking at the brochures and his mother had clearly been in as they both had quilts over them. Maya was curled up on the couch with a brochure for Texas Christian University still in her hand. He smiled down on her for just a moment before reaching over to gently shake jostle her. She swatted at him at first but with the second shake to her shoulder she muttered ‘fine’ and reached up to rub her eyes. She stopped short, the brochure still in her hand. “I think you should go here.” She told him softly, handing over the brochure. She didn’t give him a chance to reply as she stood and moved past him, rubbing her eyes and closing herself in the bathroom.
> 
> Mrs. Friar sat a plate of eggs and toast in front of Maya before sitting down to her own plate. Maya’s sleepovers had lost their shock value many months before. The first time had been an accident much like this time, the two were watching a movie and crashed on the couch. The Friar’s didn’t worry about Maya and Lucas…they’d observed enough by now to see that there wasn’t anything going on between them that would be cause for concern. Over time Mrs. Friar had grown incredibly close to Maya and enjoyed her being around. She offered her the guest room many times, but the two always ended up asleep in some odd way. Even the time they found Maya asleep in Lucas’s bed, they didn’t worry about it because Lucas hadn’t been there with her, he’d been on the floor. It only caused jokes about why they even had a guest bed if people were just going to sleep on the carpet.
> 
> Lucas was having trouble with the fact that Maya of all people was telling him to go away to school. He was sure if there was anyone telling him to stay it would be her, she needed him…didn’t she? Lucas and Maya both cleared the table after breakfast and it finally gave him a minute alone with her. “So, TCU?” He asked as casually as he could. Maya stopped in place for just a moment behind the sink – keeping her back to him as she nodded.
> 
> “Yup, it’s the most logical choice.” She replied, keeping her voice calm. “They’re number 5 out of all the college baseball teams in the country, they gave you a full scholarship, and it’s Texas, you know people there so you wouldn’t just be off in some weird city alone.” She turned to him finally. The look in his eyes was easy for her to read, she knew him too well. “It’s the best thing you can do for yourself, your future. It’s about you, Lucas…not about where I want you to be.”
> 
> “You don’t want me to go?”
> 
> “I want you to do what is best for you.” She replied.
> 
> “That’s such a copout answer.” He challenged her, and he’d always been able to challenge her better than anyone else could.
> 
> “No it’s not.” But his expression showed he wasn’t buying it and she let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine. No I don’t want you to go.” She covered quickly. “I don’t want any of you to go, all of my friends are going away to school and I’m going to be here without you all.” She wondered for a moment if he could read he as well as she could read him, if he could see that while she’d miss the others it was him she truly didn’t want to leave her. “But I do want you all to go be all the great things I know you can be.” She continued, and she did mean it, even if it would hurt her to lose all of them at once. 
> 
> Lucas’s arms wrapped around her shoulders from behind, hugging her to his chest for just a moment as he muttered a thanks. She didn’t notice how he smelled her hair or lingered close to her a moment longer than a hug needed. She just noticed how warm his arms were against her own. But instead of acknowledging any of it, she playfully elbowed him and tossed a dish towel at him. “You dry.”
> 
> * * *
> 
> Just as Jessie’s hand took hold of Lucas’s in the dark theater they both felt the slight buzz of his phone in his pocket. She pulled back and eyed him to see if he would actually answer in the middle of their date – and much to her disappointment, he did. Letting go of her hand he pulled out his phone and held it low. His brow furrowed and he turned to her. “Don’t you dare.” She whispered, feeling her stomach tighten – this was not a new situation.
> 
> Lucas leaned over and kissed Jessie’s cheek. “I’m sorry…but I’ve got to go.”
> 
> “What?!” She whispered loudly, being shhed by some other movie goers. “Give me your phone.” She demanded, snatching it from his hand after another shh from the row behind them Jessie stood and stormed out, Lucas following. In the lighted hall she was looking at the text with a flushed face. “Maya, of course.” 
> 
> “She needs my help, I’m just going to go get her and take her home.” He told her calmly, taking his phone back before she got more upset and did something drastic like throw it.
> 
> “She always needs your help!” Jessie wasn’t keeping her tone down now. “What about me, Lucas?! We’re on a date for fucks sake! You know it was bad enough when you texted about not making dinner an hour before we were supposed to be there, for leaving the park when we were going to hang out with my friends…but you are actually bailing on a date for her?!”
> 
> “Jessie…she needs…”
> 
> “I don’t care what she needs!” Lucas sighed at the outburst, “Can’t you see what she’s doing?!” She snapped, getting angrier by the second. “She’s trying to come between us, she wants you for herself and you’re letting her do it!”
> 
> “That’s ridiculous, Jess. You know it’s not like that between me and Maya.”
> 
> “Not yet.” She shot back bitterly. “You either want her to come between us or you’re just really fucking stupid not to see it.” He glared at her as she continued. “You really think someone like Maya Hart needs you all the time? Needs you when we’re on dates? You think someone who never backs down to anyone really needs _you_ to come save her from walking home alone in the dark? She’s not a little girl, Lucas, she doesn’t NEED you!” Her words didn’t sink in then, he was too frustrated that she was fighting with him now when he was just being a good friend. “What about me? What if I need you?”
> 
> “Jessie you don’t understand…” He sighed, he knew he was hurting his girlfriend, but after all Maya had been through he couldn’t leave her scared of what would happen on her way home. He’d promised her long ago he’d protect her and he would.
> 
> “I understand plenty, Lucas! I understand that if you leave right now, we’re through.”
> 
> “Jessie…” But her arms were crossed and he just shook his head and sighed. “I’m sorry Jessie, I’m not going to turn my back on my best friend.”
> 
> “No, you’re going to turn your back on your girlfriend.” She snapped back, anger overtaking sadness. Jessie didn’t go back into the movie, instead she went home to blast him and Maya all over Twitter with her friends. Across town, Riley saw the tweets and sighed. Another one bites the dust. She thought to herself, understanding immediately what happened, what had happened twice before. Lucas on the other hand couldn’t have cared less about Twitter then, he was heading into Brooklyn to find Maya. Despite it causing him pain or loss, Lucas didn’t regret his decisions; Maya was more important to him.
> 
> Lucas found the party Maya’s date had taken her to with ease and let himself in. He looked around for only a moment before he spotted her on the couch with her arms crossed. Lucas knew Micah, her date, and he didn’t like him – then again, Lucas didn’t like anyone who asked Maya out. 
> 
> Maya’s face scrunched up as Micah’s arms were snaked around her clearly uninterested body and he pressed his mouth sloppily to hers. She shoved him back hard. “Stop!” She snapped at him and stood up. But even drunk he was quick and grabbed a hold of her and pulled her back down.
> 
> “Where you goin’, baby?” He asked with a slurred voice, his breath on her neck smelled like alcohol as he tried to kiss her again. Lucas was infuriated at just one glimpse of Maya trying to push the guy off of her with her own disgusted expression. He crossed the room and got to her just as she elbowed Micah in the side and made him let go.
> 
> Lucas didn’t bother with Micah then he just reached out a hand to Maya and pulled her up off the couch. “C’mon let’s go.” He told her, his eyes glancing over at her drunken date once more to see Micah standing up. Lucas turned quickly, one arm pushing Maya behind him. “Don’t do this, man.” Lucas told him, but all Micah saw was his date leaving with another guy.
> 
> “Screw you, Friar, she’s here with me.” Micah slurred as he stood, pushing Lucas’s shoulder as he stepped in closer. The fight was inevitable, Lucas knew as much, but his only instinct was to protect Maya. 
> 
> “Lucas.” Maya said, reaching her hand up to his shoulder. “Forget him, let’s go.” But that turned Micah’s attention on her.
> 
> “You fucking trashy slut. You think you’re going to come here with me and leave with someone else?” He slurred as he reached out towards her. She glared at his insult, but didn’t have a chance to react before Lucas’s fist slammed into his mouth. Drunk or not Micah wasn’t so easy to be rid of and he swung back, catching Lucas in the gut and then tackled him. 
> 
> Standing behind Lucas wasn’t the best place then as the two boys toppling over knocked Maya to the ground. Lucas caught a flash of blonde hair as she went down, he focused on trying to see if she was okay and his distraction earned him a fist to the eye. Maya wasn’t quick enough to catch herself completely, busting her lip on the side of the coffee table. The blow was nothing to Lucas, he could take a hit, it was the sight of Maya bleeding that made him see red. He fought back twice as hard then, needing to be pulled off Micah before he’d stop on his own. 
> 
> “This isn’t over Friar! Same for you, you fucking bitch!” A very bloodied and bruised Micah yelled as Maya and Lucas were sent outside.
> 
> Lucas pushed against one of the guys leading him outside and yelled back. “You ever touch her again and I'll fucking kill you.”
> 
> “Lucas!” Maya pulled at his arm, getting his attention back on her – but seeing her busted lip was not the way to make him calm down and she could see it in his eyes. “It’s over, Lucas.” She stood between him and the door leading back inside. “Please take me home.” She asked him, trying so hard to keep him from another fight.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Maya sat on Lucas’s kitchen counter as he wrapped some ice in a towel for her. She felt slightly at fault for his bloodied knuckles and black eye. “That was really stupid, Huckleberry.” She told him as he came closer. “You could lose your scholarship if you can’t play ball because you broke your hand on some asshole’s face.” She told him. When she opened her mouth to speak again, he put the ice against her lip to shut her up. In turn, she pushed the raw steak from his freezer against his eye.
> 
> “What in the hell is going on in here?” Lucas’s father entered the kitchen causing them both to jump slightly, his wife right behind him. “What happened to you two?!” He exclaimed with just one look at their faces.
> 
> “Oh god, honey come here.” Mrs. Friar said to Maya, she hopped off the counter and let her face be examined.
> 
> “It’s okay, Susan, I’m –” Maya began.
> 
> “Hush.” She told Maya quickly. “There is nothing okay about this.”
> 
> “Lucas.” His father began. “We talked about the fighting, you want to lose another year of your life? You are getting older now, you could go to jail.” His wife put a hand on his arm, calming him with the simple touch. “Alright, what happened?”
> 
> “I tried to take Maya home. Her date was drunk and – ”
> 
> “I wasn’t drinking!” Maya blurted out quickly when eyes went to her. “Soon as he started I called Lucas to come pick me up and take me home.” She loved Lucas’s mother as much as she loved her own and she never wanted them to think negatively of her. She still fought the urges of feeling dirty about them knowing about her rape, but for them to think she was trouble would be even worse. 
> 
> Mrs. Friar nodded to her. “I know, sweetheart.” She muttered and then motioned to her son to continue.
> 
> “Well, he didn’t like that she was leaving and he said…something about Maya.” Both parents looked to him. “Something I can’t say in front of my mama.” Lucas continued and for them that was enough. “And we got in a fight and Maya got knocked down.”
> 
> Maya looked down as Lucas spoke, feeling even more at fault. “I’m sorry…I should have called a cab not Lucas.”
> 
> “No, I told you to call me any time you needed me.” Lucas cut in. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I let him get to me, the fight was my fault. I just…listen, no one gets to talk to you like that.”
> 
> Mr. Friar raised a brow as he watched them seem to forget anyone else was in the room. “Alright, alright. Lucas…go find something for Maya to sleep in…and you’re paying for that steak.” He told his son, sending him out of the kitchen, raw meat still pressed to his bruised face. “Maya, sit down please.” The three of them sat at the kitchen table and Mr. Friar, or Jeffrey as he’d told her she could call him, motioned for her to lean in closer. “Let me see that lip.” Maya pulled the towel down and he looked at the busted lip that had been bleeding earlier. “It’s gonna look worse tomorrow, you better tell your mama tonight so she’s not worried.”
> 
> Maya nodded. “I texted her from the cab.” She told them softly, she felt like she was in trouble with the way they sat her down, but concern, not anger, showed in her eyes.
> 
> “Good, now listen… what were you doing out with some guy who would treat you like that?” He asked as Maya avoided his eyes. “Maya.” He said, getting her to look up with his slight southern accent. She couldn’t help but notice that Lucas share the same eyes as his father – minus the small smile lines next to his father’s eyes. “You listen to me, girl.” Her eyes locked on him. “I’m not your daddy, but you’ve spent enough time in this house that I think of you as my.” She nodded, eyes a little wider, he hadn’t ever spoken to her with this tone before.
> 
> Lucas had come back with some of his clothes for Maya, but hearing his father’s tone from outside the swinging door, he didn’t enter, he knew better – he’d been sent out of the room on purpose. “Mr. Friar, Jeffrey, I just.” But his look hushed her.
> 
> “You are a very special young lady, you are smart and beautiful.” Jeffrey began. “You deserve the best, you deserve someone who will treat you like a queen. I don’t want to hear about another boy taking you out and drinking or hurting you. Do you understand? You’re like my Sue, one of those rare breeds that deserves the world. Don’t settle for anyone who can’t see it. You think I got this lady by acting like a fool? No, I treated her right and she let me marry her. Now don’t you go letting anyone treat you less than you deserve. Less than _**I**_ say you deserve.” Maya’s face went red at his words and her eyes welled a little.
> 
> “Thank you…” She whispered, voice cracking a little. Jeffrey stood, leaning down and kissing the top of her head before he walked out.
> 
> Susan stayed at the table with Maya as her husband left. “Sweetheart…are you really okay?” She asked softly, feeling like Maya may not want to talk about something in front of the men. “Did you just call Lucas because that boy was drinking? Nothing else happened?”
> 
> “No. I mean, nothing happened. He kept trying to kiss me but…Lucas got there.” Susan put a hand on Maya’s. “I just felt really uncomfortable as soon as he started drinking. He didn’t tell me we were going to a party, I thought we’d get some dinner or something. I just wanted to get out of there. But, it wasn’t a neighborhood I knew and I didn’t want to go out alone…” Maya hated the fear she felt deep inside now when it came to leaving somewhere alone, always scared of someone grabbing her. She didn’t even remember the attack, but she knew she’d woken up alone outside.
> 
> “Hush, don’t you go acting like you’re about to apologize for calling him. I don’t want him fighting, but if he’s going to do it, I’m glad he did it for a good reason. I know he’ll agree with me when I say you call him any time. And if you can’t reach Luke, you call your mama or me and Jeff. Don’t ever stay somewhere that makes you uncomfortable. I will come get you no matter what time of night, okay?” Maya nodded and moved to hug her best friend’s mother tightly. “And you know Jeff is right…you deserve the best there is, don’t you sell yourself short.”
> 
> “Thanks Susan…” She muttered softly, hiding her face in the woman’s blonde curls for a moment.
> 
> “You’re more than welcome, sweetheart.” She said, giving Maya a squeeze. “You can come in now, Luke” She called towards the door. Maya raised her head curiously and Lucas entered sheepishly with clothes for her to sleep in. She wondered how his mother even knew he was out there but she just had a knowing smile on her face as she went back to bed.
> 
> * * *
> 
> As Lucas made himself a bed on the floor with the blankets from the guest bed Maya laughed softly from her spot perched on his bed. “Why don’t you just lay up here? It’s not like we’re a couple. I’ve slept over a ton of times.”
> 
> “No thanks, my Mama wouldn’t approve.” Maya just rolled her eyes at his response and got comfortable in the bed. Once the lights were out she leaned her head over the side of the bed. “Hey…thanks for coming to get me tonight.” She told him, the lights from outside shining in the window and giving the room a bluish glow. Maya looked down at him, biting her lip and after a quiet second she continued. “And… thanks for staying with me, even on the floor. I know you’d be more comfortable somewhere else.”
> 
> “Maya, you don’t have to thank me…for any of it.” He smiled and reached up pushing a bit of her hair back behind her ear. "I'm comfortable right here." Lucas learned early on that Maya didn’t like to be alone in the dark. He remembered the first night she’d fallen asleep in his bed. They’d been sitting together watching a movie when he noticed she was asleep. He’d moved to slip out and go sleep in the guest room but she’d reached for his arm and asked him not to go. He’d woken her from a very light sleep, from then on while it looked like an accident to his parents, Lucas made a point to stay in the same room as Maya.


	5. Chapter 5

> “What do you mean you still don’t know where to go? You’re almost to the deadline, if you don’t tell them soon you won’t get in this semester for the scholarship.” Riley exclaimed to Lucas as they all sat around in the bakery. 
> 
> Lucas sighed. “It’s not that easy.”
> 
> “Yes it is.” Maya replied as she came over towards with a black apron tied around her waist. She’d been working at the bakery for a while now, it was easy, close to friends and it gave her a great chance to save for school. “You go to TCU, you have a full baseball scholarship and they have a great veterinary medicine program. It’s everything you have wanted.” She told him sitting down on the arm of the chair Riley sat in. “I’ve been saying it for weeks.”
> 
> He locked his eyes on her for a quiet moment before shaking his head and slumping in the chair. Maya rolled her eyes before she caught sight of someone leaving and went to clear their table quickly. “Lucas, what’s going on?” Farkle asked him bluntly. 
> 
> “Why does she want me half way across the country?” Lucas asked softly, looking over at Maya. Riley looked over towards her as well and smiled sadly. 
> 
> “She doesn’t.” Riley told him.
> 
> “She hasn’t mentioned one school in New York, only TCU.”
> 
> “How are you not getting this?” Zay butted in, shaking his head at Lucas. “She wants you to go to the best school because she cares about you, bro. Not because she wants you gone.” Zay shook his head. “Dude, how do you ever keep a girlfriend?”
> 
> “He doesn’t.” Riley muttered and then her eyes went wide as she realized she’s spoke out loud and she quickly covered her mouth. They all looked at her with surprised expressions. “I’m sorry! Lucas I didn’t mean me at all. That was what was best for both of us. But… I mean you do have kind of a pattern.”
> 
> “What are you talking about?” Lucas asked sitting up more.
> 
> “Well...” Riley began. “Why did you break up with Jessie?”
> 
> “Maya needed my help and she got pissed and dumped me.” He replied as if it was ridiculous and he was better off.
> 
> “And Megan?” But Riley carried on before Lucas could answer. “And Becca?”
> 
> Lucas’s saw what they were saying but honestly he didn’t like thinking of it as some negative aspect of his behavior. There was nothing wrong with being there for Maya, and if a few girls didn’t get it, then he was better off without them. “What does this have to do with anything?” His eyes drifted back over to Maya as she wiped off the table, scoffing at the tip in change. 
> 
> “Look, forget all that.” Zay jumped back in. “You get what I’m saying, she’s just looking out for you for once. I think you just don’t want to hear it because she’s right, TCU is the best choice.”
> 
> “Yeah…” Lucas mumbled, leaning back again, eyes back on Maya. “But what if it’s not?” The others knew there was no hope talking to him about this right then, he wasn’t listening to reason. 
> 
> Maya never backed down on telling Lucas to go back to Texas for school. The idea of not having him around terrified her, but she couldn’t keep him here for herself. It wasn’t fair to him, nothing she’d done was fair to him. She’d figured out, much like all the others, that it was her fault he was losing girlfriends. She was coming between him and other people in his life. She didn’t know how to stop needing him, she had become so reliant on him and had stop being able to take care of herself like she once could. She’d let him become her crutch because she truly loved the time they spent together. She truly loved Lucas. And it was why she had to make him go.
> 
> * * *
> 
> The red numbers on the clock glowed 2:14 AM and Maya still sat awake in Lucas’s bed. He sat beside her, hand holding hers and both silent. The TV was on, illuminating the room in a faint blue glow and while they both stared at it, neither of them cared. It was Lucas’s last night in New York and both of them were having trouble letting go of one another. They knew once they went to sleep time would go by so fast that morning and the trip to the airport would come so fast. 
> 
> As the movie ended Maya leaned over some on Lucas. “Don’t let me fall asleep.” She told him, rubbing at her eyes. “I don’t want to fall asleep tonight.”
> 
> “I don’t either.” He told her with a smile. “How about something to eat…and some caffeine?” He suggested, stretching a little. The two pulled themselves off the bed and walked barefoot into the kitchen. Snacks weren’t easy in the Friar home, his mother wanted things natural and healthy. However….a southern family always had iced tea in the fridge so caffeine was a go. Now for snacks. 
> 
> “I hid these back here.” He told her digging in the freezer behind some frozen peas and pulled out popsicles for them both and a box of pizza rolls. 
> 
> “Junk food!” Maya exclaimed, grabbing for the popsicle with a grin. 
> 
> Susan pushed the swinging door to the kitchen open. “What are you two… Lucas!” She gasped, the sight of them both…Maya with a popsicle in her mouth and a plate of steaming pizza rolls in her hand, Lucas with the entire picture of tea and his own popsicle. “Where did that even come from?” The teenagers snickered a little at her and she couldn’t fuss at them about their food choices anymore, she knew that. “I’m going to be sending you food baskets to Texas, just to make sure you eat properly.” She told him with a tired smile. “Okay you two, just don’t leave dirty dishes in the bedroom, okay?”
> 
> * * *
> 
> “Time to get up!” Susan yelled down the hall towards her son’s bedroom. 
> 
> Maya jerked up quickly, looking around. The sun came in through the window and Lucas was actually still in the bed with her, rubbing his eyes. “Shit!” Maya exclaimed, completely distraught. “We fell asleep.” 
> 
> “Huh?” He groaned a little, he didn’t care that he’d spent the night in bed with Maya, he cared that they’d fallen asleep when neither of them wanted to. “I’m sorry, Maya. I tried…” 
> 
> “I know, so did I…” She said sadly, looking over to him. Today was the day, it was his last day in New York, the day he left her. She looked away from him, blinking a few times trying not to let him see her so upset. She took in a breath, “dibs.” She muttered, but he didn’t miss her lack of a smile as she spoke and rushed into the bathroom. 
> 
> Maya didn’t know how to say good-bye to Lucas, she sat in the airport, hand in his and watching a clock on the wall. Every time she looked back at the clock she’d mentally calculate how many minutes they had left before he absolutely had to go get on his plane. She didn’t notice when his mother cleared her throat and Lucas nodded, only noticed that he let go of her hand. She turned to him, figuring he had to go to the bathroom, but instead, he reached for the gift bag his mother handed over. How she’d gotten this past Maya was not a surprise, Maya wasn’t paying attention to anyone but Lucas.
> 
> Maya’s brow furrowed as Lucas handed her the bag. “Wha? Shouldn’t _you_ get the going away present?” She asked, not even looking inside yet.
> 
> “Just open it.” Lucas told her. Inside was his black cowboy hat and she laughed.
> 
> “A little Huckleberry to stay behind?” she asked, teasing him.
> 
> “Look inside.” She looked inside the hat and found the envelope, a plane ticket. “It’s open, you can use it anytime this year when you want to come visit.” Normally Maya would try to give an expensive gift back, try to refuse anything worth more than she thought she deserved, but this was priceless. Maya held onto it tightly while Lucas took the hat and put it on Maya’s head. “Looks good.” He told her with a grin.
> 
> “Thank you…” she told him softly, moving in to hug him tightly. She couldn’t tease him about the hat nor even take it off. Now even more than before she wanted him to stay. She wanted to be selfish and keep him with her. When they called his flight number, Maya’s hand tightened on his so much her knuckles went white. She needed him, she had no idea how to be without him and now she had no other options. It was over. Maya walked with Lucas as far as she could. He approached the security entrance and she could feel her heart racing as he looked back and waved. Her hands shook as he turned around to go. “Lucas!” She yelled back and he turned to face her, some concern in his face as his mother’s hand reached for Maya’s shoulder. “I…I…” But she couldn’t say the words.
> 
> Lucas knew Maya better than most did by this point and he smiled. “I love you too.” He told her, “I’ll see you soon.” He told her before he walked through and was no longer in sight.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Maya had talked a lot about going to school, about saving some money and getting her basics done at the community college and then finding a fine arts program she might be able to afford, or trying again for scholarships. But in the end, she never ended up enrolling anywhere. Whenever she was asked about plans for school she just said she needed to keep saving before it was possible. Eventually her friends stopped asking, understanding that she just might not end up taking her education further. Maya wanted college, she wanted art school and studies abroad. She wanted everything they all wanted – but she didn’t anyone else know it. 
> 
> The once so tight group of friends seemed to drift further and further apart. The first month Maya and Lucas would skype several nights a week, his schedule filling up more and more till it was once a week, then once every two weeks. She had feared this, but knew he was where he needed to be. She knew in the end he would be able to fulfil all his dreams. Farkle lost touch with them all quicker than most, he was taking almost double the credit hours in hopes of graduating early. Zay was the one who sent real letters, mostly to Riley who found the idea of old fashioned communication nostalgic and romantic. Riley loved when he sent letters from the Army bases, the addresses were so different and it made her proud how well he was doing there. 
> 
> Riley and Maya managed to still stay close as two people with their lives going in opposite directions could stay. Riley spent a lot of time in the bakery just to be close to Maya. She would take over a table with her books and laptop and study while Maya worked, taking a break whenever Maya could come over and talk with her. 
> 
> “Maya?” Riley began, looking away from the laptop screen to her best friend. “Can I ask you something?”
> 
> “What’s up?” Maya asked, stepping in closer.
> 
> “Why won’t you let someone help you with school? Even with a loan?”
> 
> Maya sighed, she’d heard this question before, but Riley asked it every few months, wanting her friend to be on this journey with her. “I don’t want to be in debt, Ri, you know that.” Riley would just nod and let it go.
> 
> “Yeah…You know when I’m a famous journalist and making millions, if you haven’t gone yet, I’m going to send you myself no matter what you say.”
> 
> “I know you will, Riles.” Maya told her with a smile and lean against her best friend, but Maya knew it was never going to be how Riley wanted it to be. Her life wasn’t Riley’s life. She didn’t have a very successful mother who had been saving for her college since before she could walk. But she did have a mother who sacrificed everything to give her daughter as much as she could. The older Maya got the more she knew how much her mother did for her growing up. 
> 
> “Have you talked to Lucas lately?” And Riley almost wished she hadn’t asked as Maya forced a smile on her face but shook her head.
> 
> “No, he’s been really busy, his scholarship means he has to keep up with everything. Last time we Skyped he was so tired he fell asleep while we were talking.”
> 
> “I’m sorry.” Riley told her, pulling Maya closer.
> 
> “It’s okay, really. I’m sure things will lighten up soon enough. What about you, have you talked to him?”
> 
> Riley shook her head. “No, but I got a letter from Zay yesterday!” Riley said excitedly as she dug into her bag and pulled out the envelope to hand over to Maya. Maya opened the paper and smiled a little as she began to read. 
> 
> _ Riley, _
> 
> I really do think I miss you most of all. Thank you again for the picture you sent.  
>  I can’t tell you how much it brightens my early mornings to see you smiling at  
>  me even if just on paper.
> 
> I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said in your last letter but I honestly  
>  don’t know what I’m going to do whenever I do leave the army. I really feel like  
>  this is where I belong so I don’t know exactly when I’ll retire. But New York is  
>  of course a possibility. And even if I don’t live there you know I’ll come visit.
> 
> Did I tell you yet what my father said when he saw me in my greens? He looked  
>  me right in the eyes and said I’m proud of you, boy. He’s never said those  
>  words to me, at least not that I remember. 
> 
> _ I’ve been reading a lot, I started Macbeth this week. There’s something about it  
>  that just sucks me in. I have to think hard about some of it with the old words and  
>  all of that, but I like that it’s about a soldier. Have you read it? _
> 
> _ I hope you’re doing great back in New York and look forward to your next letter. _
> 
> _ Isaiah _
> 
> Maya read the letter twice and then looked to Riley with a brow raised. “Is there something I should know about?” She asked and Riley’s brow furrowed. 
> 
> “What do you mean?” She asked, taking back the letter and looking over it, had she missed something? Surely not since she’d read it several times by now.
> 
> Maya grinned at her, still so innocently naïve. “So how long have the two of you been talking about such personal stuff and discussing Shakespeare?” She asked, a slight hint in her voice.
> 
> “Oh, um, I don’t know, we talk about a lot of stuff.” Riley’s cheeks went a little pink but she brushed it off and put her letter away. “I just like writing back and forth with him, I like how he is in the letters, you know? Zay always seemed to…try so hard to be funny or be tough. When he writes, he’s just Isaiah.”
> 
> “Isaiah.” Maya said with enough of an inflection in the single word to make Riley blush again.


	6. Chapter 6

> That Thanksgiving was the first one that Maya didn’t spend with the Matthews. Her mother was there with Shawn, but Maya was in Texas with the Friars. It was Mrs. Friar’s idea for Maya to come along, to use her ticket and join them for Thanksgiving ‘Texas-Style’. The plan was to surprise Lucas with her arrival, he was staying with his Pappy Joe while school was on break for the holiday and only knew his mother and father were flying in. 
> 
> When Maya got out of the truck and started towards the house, Lucas ran at her, grabbing her around the waist and picking her up off the ground. He came so fast that her black cowboy hat fell off her head in the rush. Her thin arms wrapped around his neck and she buried her face against him. Maya closed her eyes tight and just clinging even after he put her back on the ground – and Lucas in turn, didn’t want to let go of her either. 
> 
> After several minutes Lucas muttered against her hair. “I missed you so much.” 
> 
> “I missed you too.”
> 
> From the front porch, Lucas’s grandfather raised a brow to his daughter-in-law who stood watching near him. “Girlfriend?” he asked, his southern drawl thick and unapologetic.
> 
> Susan shook her head. “Not yet.” She muttered with a grin. “That’s Maya, she’s been Lucas’s best friend since we moved to New York, met her on his first day of school.”
> 
> “The one who sleeps over?” He asked with crossed arms.
> 
> “Mmhmm, she’s a good girl, I think you’re really going to like her.”
> 
> “Well there ain’t gonna be none of that ‘round here.” He replied, it just wasn’t proper for unmarried teenagers to be sharing a bedroom.
> 
> “Yes it will.” Susan replied with a chuckle. “I gave up trying to prevent it.” And before her father-in-law could reply. “Don’t worry, Pappy, Luke sleeps on the floor.” She wasn’t going to get into details about Maya’s personal history but she felt it was enough to say: “Maya gets scared when she’s sleeping away from home, having Luke with her just makes her feel safe is all.” She patted Pappy Joe’s back and smiled. “Luke’s a good boy, Pappy, you know he wouldn’t be disrespectful, especially here.” And he trusted his daughter-in-law, if she allowed it in her home, he knew the kids wouldn’t be up to no good in the night.
> 
> When Lucas pulled back he bent down to get the hat, putting it back on her head. He never wanted it back, it suited her so well. He took her bag like he’d always done with her backpack and carried it with ease. Maya wasn’t ready to let go of him yet when he pulled back but she took his hand instead. “How long are you here?” He asked her, praying for a good chunk of time. He knew his parents would have to get back but he didn’t want her to leave now that he had her back. 
> 
> “Well my ticket is for Sunday.” She told him. “So five days.” 
> 
> Much like Susan Friar had warned, Lucas carried Maya’s bags right into the room he was in while Maya was introduced to the family. Maya immediately fell in love with Pappy Joe, wishing she knew more of her own extended family, or even that she was truly a part of this one. They were all so welcoming and understanding. They treated her like family after only a few hours and she loved them all for it. 
> 
> Lucas didn’t want to waste a minute of his time with Maya, he wanted her to see everything he loved about Texas. “You ever ride on a horse?” He asked her with a grin as they walked hand in hand towards the large barn.
> 
> “Oh yeah, it’s the main transportation in New York you know.” She replied sarcastically. When he eyed her she continued. “I had a pony ride once when I was eight, does that count?”
> 
> “No.” Lucas replied with a laugh as he led her into the open barn door. More stables than barn as there were horses down both sides, at least twenty all standing inside.
> 
> “Holy…” Maya trailed off before she cursed, eyes wide and jaw dropped. She stood on a bale of hay as Lucas led a horse out of the stable and got him ready for a ride. “It’s beautiful.” She told him. It wasn’t anything like the solid white horse he carried Riley off on, this one grey with white spots across it’s back. 
> 
> “Maya, this is Gracie. Gracie this is Maya.” Lucas said with a smile, letting Maya reach up and pet the horse’s nose. “This is the horse I helped deliver.” Lucas explained as he put the saddle on her back. “You want to ride her?” And at this Maya’s eyes brightened and she nodded. Lucas boosted her up into the saddle and he took the reins, leading her out of the barn.
> 
> * * *
> 
> “Her name is Sarah.” Lucas told Maya as they sat on the front porch with their iced tea watching the sun set. Maya had done better than Lucas expected when he taught her to ride his favorite horse. She was riding on her own within an hour and they spent most of the day riding around the many acres of land the Friar’s raised horses on. Lucas was catching Maya up on his classes and the baseball coach being strict but really cool. Then he got on the topic of a girl he’d met. 
> 
> Maya and Lucas knew one another so well that they knew when the other wasn’t being honest…but they also cared enough about one another to try anything – even dishonesty – to make the other happy. Maya forced the smile on her face, wanting to be happy for him even though she was feeling something else entirely. She let the smile reach her eyes and listened to him as he told her about this girl that she didn’t know but already didn’t like. Lucas wanted Maya’s approval, wanted Maya to be happy, wanted to know she was there for him even this far away…and wanted it all so much that he let himself believe her smiles. 
> 
> “She’s on a sports scholarship too.” He continued, showing Maya a picture on his phone of him and his new girlfriend. She was as tall as he was and tan with short brown hair and freckles across her nose. “She plays volleyball.” Maya had to push extra hard to smile interestedly at that one. 
> 
> “They give volleyball scholarships?” She asked, honestly never knowing. 
> 
> “Oh yeah, they’re really competitive too.” He told her nodding. “She’s really great.” And Maya nodded thinking to herself that this was probably better for Lucas anyway. She was competitive like he was, into sports, and she was here, in Texas. 
> 
> “I’m really happy for you, Lucas.” She told him smiling softer this time. She wanted to be happy for him, she honestly did but it was so hard to let go of someone you needed so much, to let go of Lucas at all.
> 
> “What’s happening in New York though, tell me everything.” He urged, looking away from the beautiful sky and to Maya. 
> 
> And Maya told him the one thing that would get his attention off her and keep him too occupied to ask about her dull life. “Well, Riley and Zay are starting some weird long distance thing through letters.”
> 
> “What?!” He asked shocked, coughing and laughing all at once. “How did that even happen?” And telling him all about the letters and ‘Isaiah’ took up far more time as she made a point to drag it out as much as possible and focus as much on everyone else. Nothing she could tell him would be as exciting as school and new people in his own life. All she did was work the same old job she always had. 
> 
> It wasn’t until much later that night that Maya let herself feel anything. In the tub, she pulled her knees to her chest in the water. All she could think was that in only a few months she was already losing him. He would find love here and do so well in school he’d never come back. She let the tears silently fall where no one could see her. She knew it was her fault, she’d held him too tight when he was in New York and then she’d insisted he go away to school. Everything happening was her fault.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Maya tried to push aside everything about Sarah to just focus on the present, the two of them together. She had Lucas show her everything he loved there, she met and spent time with his family. She even got an impromptu cooking lesson from his mother, Susan very early Thanksgiving morning…
> 
> Maya woke around three and carefully stepped over Lucas sleeping on the floor, trying not to wake him…but of course at the sound of the wood floor creaking he woke instantly. “What’s wrong?” His instant care for her made her smile sleepily. 
> 
> She leaned down and mussed his hair. “Nothing, Ranger Rick, I’m just going to pee. Go back to sleep.” He muttered something as he laid back down and was back to sleep almost immediately. She padded through the old house and as she came back out of the bathroom she saw the kitchen light on. Creeping through the open doorway, Maya rubbed her eyes more at the light. “Susan?” She asked softly. 
> 
> “Hey sweetheart, I’m just getting the turkey started, you can go back to sleep.” 
> 
> Maya blinked a few times, adjusting to the light. “The turkey?”
> 
> “Yeah, it has to cook for about twelve hours.” And Maya’s eyes went wide not only at the time frame but at the size of the turkey behind Susan on the counter. “It’s 45 pounds.” She told the small blonde, “and knowing the Friar men, we won’t have much in the way of leftovers.” She chuckled softly, not wanting to wake anyone. 
> 
> Maya stepped in further and examined what Susan was working on. “So you get up at three just to make this huge dinner?” Maya asked, this was not something she fully understood the reason behind. Susan nodded and after a long moment Maya stepped in further. “Can I help?”
> 
> “Honey, you don’t have to do that, you get some sleep.”
> 
> “I want to.” Maya told her and grabbed an extra apron hanging on the wall near the pantry. “I’ve never seen anyone…you know, my mom works a lot, so we usually just go spend Thanksgiving with the Matthews.” Maya felt bad almost instantly. “I mean she’d make it…but she just has to work the day before and doesn’t have time to do all this and…”
> 
> “I know sweetie, you don’t need to explain. Your mama is a good woman who works very hard to take care of you.” Susan truly thought a lot of Katy Hart, knowing what all she did and that she did it all on her own. Susan had never had to be on her own and she couldn’t imagine a life without her husband and large family. Maya just smiled at her and shrugged. “Okay…well wash up and pull your hair back and I’ll show you how to make the stuffing.”
> 
> By four thirty, the turkey was stuffed with stuffing Maya helped make and was maneuvered into the oven. “So…what do we do now?” Maya asked, a smile on her face. Katy had shown her how to cook a few things, but nothing like this.
> 
> “Now you go back to bed.” Susan told her with a smile as she dried her hands on her apron. “Really sweetie, it’s good for now, it’s in the bag so we don’t need to baste it. So you get back to sleep, Luke will worry about you if he wakes up and you’re not there.” And while to most mother’s it would be strange to think about her teenage son sharing a bedroom with a lovely blonde teenage girl, Susan didn't. She knew how the two of them were and she knew her son well. She knew how much Maya meant to Lucas and he wouldn’t jeopardize that.
> 
> Maya nodded and took off her apron, hanging it back up. “Will you…call me when you do more?” Maya asked, realizing then just how much she’d not only missed Lucas since he left New York, but how much she just missed being in his house with his family. Susan had become a really important part of Maya’s life as well.
> 
> “Of course.” Susan replied, moving in to press a kiss to Maya’s head. “Now, get some sleep.”
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
> It was two days after thanksgiving that Maya unexpectedly met Sarah. She was in the kitchen with Susan, in the last few days she’d been learning a lot about from her best friend’s mother. Today was leftover turkey to turkey noodle soup. Out the kitchen window she saw the white pickup truck coming down the long dirt drive, dust in its wake. Maya’s brow furrowed as Lucas started off the porch and towards it quickly. With an old apron around her, she watched as Lucas hugged he girl who got out of the truck and then kissed her. She couldn’t look away for a moment. 
> 
> With a strong resolution she took in a deep breath and held her head high as she wiped her hands on the apron and took it off, starting outside. She put a big smile on her face despite how hard it was for her. She a deep emptiness in her gut and her stomach twisted but she held her composure as she extended her hand. “You must be Sarah.” 
> 
> Sarah turned with a bright smile, she was beautiful…a natural kind of beauty. “You must be Lucas’s sister!” She exclaimed and instead of shaking Maya’s hand she went in for a hug. Maya looked over her shoulder at Lucas with a confused look. 
> 
> “She’s _like_ my sister.” Lucas corrected with a smile.
> 
> “Either way!” Sarah said as she pulled back, smiling brightly. “I hope ya’ll don’t mind me dropping in, I was missing Luke.” Maya had never felt so uncomfortable around Lucas as she did when he took Sarah’s hand and started showing her around…he’d done the same thing with her when she got there.
> 
> Maya found herself spending the rest of the day inside, either in the kitchen or in the bedroom. Suddenly she wanted nothing more than to go home when the day before she’d never wanted to leave. She missed Riley, she missed a friend there for her who would hug her and tell her everything was okay. But as soon as Sarah was gone, the weight seemed to lift and she was right back to normal with Lucas…something she didn’t want to question – but wouldn’t be able to help it as time went on. 


	7. Chapter 7

> “So wait…” Riley said, closing her book and sitting up a bit more. “You were in love with Josh for years, now he asks about you and wants to take you out but you don’t even call him until after Christmas…only to dump him three months later?”
> 
> Maya sighed and took a look around the bakery, it was slow at this hour but she still didn’t want to sit if someone needed her. That wasn’t how you got good tips. “Yeah. That was, uh, weird. Are you sure you want to talk about this? He’s your uncle.”
> 
> Riley eyed her best friend. “Is this about…” She paused and leaned in to whisper. “Sex?”
> 
> Maya held in her laugh with a tight lipped smile. “No.” Maya let out a little snicker. “No it’s not. We never had sex…or anything remotely leading up to it. Anytime we got close to being romantic, he got weird.”
> 
> “Weird?” Riley questioned, prodding for more. 
> 
> “Like, he would ask me every time before he even held my hand. He barely kissed me, I always had to make the first move. He won’t go near the dorms if I’m with him – that was when it really hit me. When I offered to meet him there he was dead set against it. I finally confronted him about what was going on and he told me he didn’t want me to be scared or have any kind of bad feelings.”
> 
> “Well that just sounds like he’s trying to think of you and, you know, what happened.”
> 
> Maya sighed. “I know that’s what he was doing, and I don’t want him to. I’m not going to be a victim my whole life. Something bad happened to me, and I worked hard to be okay after it. He made me feel like I was sixteen again and there was someone lurking in the dark again. I don’t want someone else regressing me back to being scared all the time. I don’t deserve that.”
> 
> “Okay, of course he went about it badly, but did you talk to him about it? I mean, did you tell him why that wasn’t something you wanted? I think he just wants to help you and protect you.”
> 
> “Riles… I know he’s a good guy, I do.” Maya pushed a hand through her hair. “But I don’t need a protector, I let go of that when Lucas left and I am doing really well. Better than well. I don’t need another Lucas. I wanted Josh to see me as the strong person I am, and I don’t think he can. I think all he sees is someone who got hurt.”
> 
> “Are you sure you can’t just talk to him about it?” Riley, forever the optimist, truly wanted everyone to be happy. “I’m sure he’d understand.”
> 
> “I did…” Maya told her softly. “A month ago, he tried, but…it’s just something he hasn’t gotten over yet. He told me about when the cops came to interview him, I didn’t even know that happened.” Maya shrugged again and stood as someone came in. She held up a finger to Riley to hold that thought and she went to take care of her customer. When she came back she brought Riley a hot cocoa with whipped cream on top. “It’s not his fault, it’s not anyone’s fault. It’s just not going to work out. We’re still going to be friends, holidays won’t be weird or anything.” 
> 
> There was a side of Maya that felt like Josh was trying to make up for something by seeing her, trying to correct wrongs of the past – but those were thoughts she’d never share with Riley or anyone else. She didn’t blame Josh and wished he never blamed himself.
> 
> Riley stayed quiet for a long time after that, sipping her hot chocolate and processing it all. “Maya?” She asked softly, turning to her friend. And the look in Riley’s eyes made Maya think back to when they were kids in the bay window. She was always so innocent and sweet with those big brown eyes. “Did you agree to date Josh because you couldn’t date Lucas?” Maya blinked hard, innocent but blunt. 
> 
> “No of course not.” Maya’s brow furrowed as she answered quickly – too quickly. “Um, I don’t think so? I don’t know Riles. He’s dated before and I was fine.”
> 
> “You have never been fine when he’s dating someone.”
> 
> “I have.”
> 
> “Not. You have not. You need him more than anything when he’s dating someone, you never like the girls, you know I’m right.”
> 
> “I don’t have to like them, plus I couldn’t like them they were all wrong for him.”
> 
> “And the new one?” Maya bit at her lip and refused to meet Riley’s eyes for the question this time. She didn’t want to think about the girl she’d met at Thanksgiving. Sarah was great with Lucas, they were both from the same place, she got along well with the family, and Maya was more jealous than she could ever remember being. Maya had been so angry and jealous at her arrival, at her little time with Lucas being disrupted for any reason, let alone a girl like her. 
> 
> “It doesn’t matter anymore, Riles.” She muttered, standing again, this time going back to work to just get away from the thoughts in her head. “He’s not going to come back, he’s happy there, he’s found someone and he’s going to be successful. He’ll have no reason to ever come back.” Maya walked back behind the counter then and left Riley sitting at her table frowning after her.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Lucas’s welcome home party had been going on for hours. He’d decided to come home for the summer and spend time with everyone he’d been missing throughout the school year. With her mother and Shawn away on one of his jobs, Maya took the chance of an empty apartment and threw a huge party – even allowing herself a few drinks. She normally wasn’t one to drink, but with Lucas there she had no fears of anything going wrong. She knew from the moment she met him at the airport that morning. 
> 
> Despite how much it bothered Maya that he didn’t call as often as he used to, that she didn’t feel like she was as important to him as she’s always been, Maya was still the first one Lucas would see at the airport. There was something in the way his eyes lit up when he saw her, the way he rushed her just like he had when she showed up in Texas and held her so tight that made her forget how bothered and lonely she’d felt the last few months. Everything seemed to go back to just the way it was before he’d ever left and she found herself going against her previous words to Riley and relishing in it.
> 
> The party had been almost perfect, Farkle came but could only stay a few hours, he was taking classes through the summer to advance his graduation and Zay – better known more recently as Isaiah of course couldn’t come. However he had used his time on base to Skype Riley and got to speak with everyone then. Everyone there was excited to see Lucas, but it was Maya who was always at his side through the entire night. 
> 
> “So, where is Josh? Why isn’t he here tonight?” Lucas asked, looking around the mass of people from where he sat together with Maya in an over-sized arm chair.
> 
> Her brow rose. “What? Why would I invite him?”
> 
> “He _is_ your boyfriend.” Lucas said with a laugh, lifting the bottle of beer to his lips. 
> 
> Maya nearly choked on her own beer as she laughed. “You’ve been talking to Riley.”
> 
> “I did, and was surprised you didn’t tell me yourself.”
> 
> “Nothing to tell, cowboy.” She told him. “Didn’t even make it three months.” She was tempted for a moment to do the polite thing and ask him about Sarah, but found that she didn’t want to know. She didn’t want to hear him talk about Sarah here, this was _her_ time with him.
> 
> “Oh, yeah it’s been a little while since we talked but…sorry?” He asked, but Maya shrugged it off. “His loss.” He told her softer, giving her a little nudge and she just smiled and took another drink. 
> 
> By two the party was breaking up, only a three people were left in the Hunter/Hart apartment. Riley was there cleaning up some to give Maya and Lucas some time to talk alone. Riley had missed Lucas as well, but she knew no one missed him like Maya had.
> 
> Riley let herself back into the apartment after dropping a couple trash bags down the chute only to freeze in her tracks. In the 45 seconds it took Riley to walk down the hall and back, Lucas and Maya went from sitting in the chair talking to tangled in one another’s arms kissing deeply. Her jaw was dropped as she stared for a second - her return hadn’t even been noticed by the two blondes as they kissed with a need for one another that Riley had only see in cheesy romance movies. She grabbed her coat and slipped right back out, locking the door behind her. Once she was on the street hailing a cab, she had Farkle on the phone. “It finally happened!”
> 
> Maya hadn’t even realized anyone was still in the room, all she saw was Lucas. She couldn’t remember everything they’d even been talking about, just that she was with him and didn’t want him to go anywhere ever again. A dream that would probably never come true, but for now she had it all right there with her. She watched his mouth as he smiled, the way he licked his lips. But it was when he reached up and tucked her hair back that had her moving in.
> 
> She kissed him without any thoughts of what it meant or what would happen when it was over. The few drinks took away all those concerns and allowed her to act without worry of consequence. The best feeling was when he kissed her back, the feeling of lips parting and his tongue moving past her lips. His fingers moved into her hair as he pulled her closer to him. It was a kiss both of them had secretly thought about for years. 
> 
> Maya moved in as close as she could, shifting a leg over him and sliding into his lap with ease. Her arms wrapped around his neck as her chest pressed to his. Any sense of reason flew out the window for Lucas, the girl he’d resigned he’d never have, the girl he’d forced himself to think of like a sister was now kissing him. He held her close, his hands roaming over her taking in as much as he could before it stopped, sure that once it did he wouldn’t ever get the chance again. 
> 
> It wasn’t until they were in her bedroom, a trail of clothing left behind as they rolled in the sheets kissing even more passionately than they had been in the living room. Lucas was left in nothing but his boxers and Maya in bra and un-matching underwear. Maya pulled back from the kiss and sat up where she straddled his hips. Her hair was mussed and her lips were swollen from the kissing. She looked down at him with love in her eyes and it was then that Lucas felt the pang in his chest. As her hands raised to undo the bra behind her back, his hands reached up and stopped her.
> 
> “Maya…” he breathed out and his lower half ached, knowing the buildup was going to lead to nothing. “Maya I…we can’t do this.” He took a few breaths, trying to calm his body down as Maya’s brows furrowed in confusion as a frown formed on her lips. He shifted her some as he sat up, keeping her close to him as he looked in her eyes.
> 
> “Wha?” She began. She knew he wanted to, she could feel it…inside her gut as well as physically against her leg.
> 
> Lucas’s hands reached up and pushed through her hair. “Maya…I can’t, not like this.” He shook his head some. “Not when you’ve been drinking. I won’t be that guy to you, not to anyone, but especially not you.” He knew if his hormones could take form and smack him they would, but Maya was worth more than this, Maya was worth everything he had. 
> 
> “But I’m fine.” She told him, leaning in to kiss him once more. 
> 
> “I’m not.” He told her softly, pulling back from the shorter kiss. “Maya…” He sighed and kissed her softly. “Damn…” He sighed. “I want to, God, I want to…just…not tonight.” He tried to show her, tried to let her see that it wasn’t her, that he wanted nothing more than to be with her, but he didn’t know what to do, it was such a strange situation, something he never expected to happen. “Can I just stay here tonight?”
> 
> It was nearly noon before Maya finally woke up. The weight of Lucas’s arm against her as he laid behind her holding her close felt warm and comfortable. She thought back to how comforted she was to just have him in the room, but this was so much better. She smiled a little, the slight headache she had didn’t even seem to matter considering where she was. She rolled over under his arm, hiding her face from the light against his chest and keeping as close to him as she could.
> 
> Lucas smiled a little to himself, his arm tightening around her a little as she shifted closer. He knew then that he’d made the right choice. He wasn’t sure as they fell asleep if she would be angry in the morning, if she’d even remember any of it but so far she seemed glad to have him close. He tilted his head down and pressed a kiss against her shoulder. 
> 
> Lucas’s simple gesture was the one that let Maya know that her small window the night before wasn’t her only one and she hadn’t messed it all up as she feared in the early hours before she fell asleep. Maya lifted her head then and their eyes locked. “Good morning.” She told him softly, a smile on her lips. 
> 
> “Morning.” He replied, returning her smile. Maya tilted her head up and just barely brushed her lips against his and as soon as she’d made contact he completed the kiss. But it wasn’t enough for Lucas, he needed to look her in the eyes and say the words he’d been thinking about all night. He pulled back from the kiss and looked at her, watching her eyes as she watched his in return. “Maya…” He began, watching her brow lift curiously. “I love you.”
> 
> Maya blinked a few times as she looked into his eyes, searching them for any signs of confusion or dishonesty – something his eyes had never shown her before and wouldn’t show her then. She smiled softly as she spoke. “I love you too, Huckleberry. I think I’ve loved you for a really long time.” 


End file.
